It's Cool, I Didn't Want to Breathe Anyway

This morning's bus ride was refreshingly free of unwanted advances (although one man looked like he was really thinking about it).

Someone did, however, unleash a full aerosol can of Glade air freshener on Route 4, rendering noxious the air I'd previously earmarked for breathing. The bus was already packed to the gills and it vastly improved my experience to have a full can of Baby Powder Fresh lodged in my nostrils.

You know, if you encounter offensive odors so frequently that you feel the need to carry around air freshener, you might want to contemplate the possibility that the smell is coming from you. Just a thought, peeps. Showering: It's the New Rage.

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This may be hormonally-influenced, but I am currently in the throes of Your Ill-fitting Overcoat's OMG WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE Quarterly Convention. This quarter's convention is taking place in lovely Madison, WI, but past events have been held in such exotic locations as Florida, Manhattan, Paris, and Weeping in My Car at Stop Lights.

Like all great conventions, OWAIDWML involves a lot of grand speeches, a lot of empty promises, and at the end of the event, we all go home exhausted and nothing is really resolved. Participants also receive a commemorative tote bag.

I've spent the past several months just letting life flow and good things have come from that, but sometimes I wonder where 'flow' ends and 'complacency' begins. It is, as I'm fond of saying, a fine line.

Well, we'll see.

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Other absurdities of the week:

  • I have been asked on a date by four separate people this week. What? Why? I do not want to go on a date. I want to curl up in a tiny ball with my commemorative tote bag and never speak to anyone again. Kthx.
  • It's snowing. What? Why? OH RIGHT IT'S NOVEMBER WHAT.
  • Last night, I made chocolate cupcakes with teal frosting and they are beyond beautiful. This morning, unsurprisingly, I am still unable to button my jeans. Tonight's menu: steamed celery with a phenylpropanolamine glaze. Ladies, it's not too late to get in shape for those goose down parkas!

Have a great weekend, everyone. I'll just be over here with a paper bag, taking one breath at a time.

photo courtesy joethorn, eldave