It has since been deleted. Obvi.
Lately, life’s been a barrel of sea monkeys and by that I mean useless, gross, and best dumped down the toilet while the kids are outside. I spent several long minutes yesterday making a list of Ways I Could Kill Myself That Would Not Hurt the People I Love– the good news is that I couldn’t think of any; the bad news is that I even tried.
I don’t know when my mental health took a side trip to Cuckooville, but, y’all, I’m ready to merge back onto the highway.
Here are a few steps I’ve taken to get myself back on track:
There was a time when Facebook and Twitter provided more benefit to me than they cost, but a few days ago, I saw that shift. Stress, obligation, insecurity– the benefits were dwindling and what was once useful was becoming a distraction.
I tried to just quit logging in, but it was impossible. Apple+T, ‘fa’, down arrow, enter. My fingers did the walking before I could stop them.
So I deleted both accounts.
I’m not on an anti-social-media crusade or anything. Both of these sites provide value for a lot of people and the decision to log off was a personal one. But so far, I’m doing just fine.
I log into Gmail approximately 984 times a day. And every time I do, 73 unread emails glare back at me, red and bold and angry.
This morning, I selected all 73 of those buggers and hit ‘Mark All As Read’. I don’t even know what they were. And then I highlighted my entire inbox and moved it to a subfolder called ‘Don’t Look At This Ever Again’.
If you’ve emailed me lately and I haven’t responded to you, I apologize, but your email has been relegated to the backlog of Neverland and is unlikely to receive a response.
And while we’re at it, if you have an email from me that’s sitting in your inbox? If every day it’s glaring at you, all red and bold and angry, sending pin-pricks of guilt down your spine?
Mark that shit as read.
And if I send you another one?
Mark that one, too.
It’s a new game I’m playing. It’s called ‘Doing What Makes You Happy’. Let’s start a team.
Awhile back, I wrote a statement of values designed to keep me afloat when the flotsam and jetsam of life threatened to pull me under. That statement is here.
Today, I realized that statement was in need of an overhaul. I needed to get specific. I needed bullet points.
So I made a list of my Most Important Things. They are as follows, in no particular order:
These are the things that matter. Everything else is a distraction.
And there you have it in a nutshell. Desperate to sane in 60 seconds or less.
And today, my little chickadees, I’m wearing hot pink tights. And I’ve got Sudafed. It’s 70 degrees and sunny and everything’s going to be OK.
Categories: my life in words