So I met this dude over the weekend. It was no big thing, just a fun show with friends and a face I’d never seen before. An hour or so into the show, this exchange took place:
ME. Your friend has a girlfriend, right?
MUTUAL FRIEND. No, not right now.
ME. Ok, cool.
(Dude turns around and smiles at me. I smile at him.)
ME. I think I was talking louder than I thought I was.
MUTUAL FRIEND. A little flattery never hurt anyone.
I don’t know that he was my type exactly (whatever that means), but I just got this really solid vibe from him, you know? Like, the solidest vibe I’d gotten from a single dude since mid-2005. Solid enough to call my mama.
Anyway, I added him as a friend on ye olde Facebook (oh, bringer-together & pusher-apart!) and, in return, received an impersonal mass invitation to an upcoming group thing. I wrote him to say that I couldn’t make it, but that he should consider coming to an upcoming group thing of mine instead.
That was almost two full days ago and crickets have been chirping ever since. My interest waned gradually over the first twenty-four hours and is now hovering somewhere just under room temperature.
It’s possible that I need to strap on my corset and go read The Rules with my sewing circle, but I feel like if I tell a dude I just met that I’m interested in getting to know him better and he takes two days to get back to me, then he is either (a) in a coma or (b) not really feelin’ it. Or at least not feelin’ it enough.
Gentlemen of the Blog (and anyone else who wants to weigh in), what say you? I have pretty strong opinions on this topic, based on my years of vast and extensive dating experience, as well as the multiple psychological and sociological studies I’ve led at both Harvard and Yale… but feel free to chime in with your thoughts.
The weird thing is that this has happened to several of my hot lady friends recently and I’m confused by it. If you’re a single dude and I’m a single lady and I have the usual number of arms and legs (hell, even if I don’t) and I express some sort of potential interest in you, why would you ignore that? It’s one thing if we already know each other and you’ve figured out that I don’t do it for you, but if we’ve just met and we seemed to hit it off…?
Dudes, it’s SPRING.
Anyway, onwards & upwards. In the immortal words of Rob Lowe on The West Wing: “I’ve already moved on to other things in my head.”
Speaking of sewing circles, I hit the embroidery hoop jackpot yesterday at my neighborhood thrift store. In addition to a homemade pop filter, I’m finally going to attempt this art project. My attempts at craftiness are usually met with horrifying results (in elementary school, my teachers used to make my crafts for me and put my name on them), but this one seems easy enough. Results forthcoming.
Disclaimer: I apologize for this post (as well as all posts past & future) that refer to “dudes” and “ladies” and make use of grossly heteronormative examples. I recognize that not everyone falls into the category of “dude” or “lady” and that not everyone who calls himself a “dude” is into folks who call themselves “ladies”. I am using terms and examples that apply to my current situation and I’m not sure how to talk about this in any other way without it getting even wordier than it already is. I realize that this is sort of like saying “I want to recycle, but the recycling bin is too far away.” My apologies.