For the past few weeks, my phone has been threatening to cut me off.
I am a Text Message Pack Rat and apparently my cell phone does not support this feature and so I am forced to delete, delete, delete.
Oh but it pains me so! I have text messages that are literally almost a year old and, scrolling through them, it’s interesting to see which ones have made the cut. I’ve kept texts that remind me of funny stories, amazing nights, and important moments, I’ve kept texts that profess undying adoration of me, and I’ve kept texts that I don’t even understand anymore. (Please see below: honey and tin foil.)
I have a friend who frequently posts what she calls “SMS Dumps” to her blog. In these SMS Dumps, she posts all of her semi-interesting text messages before she finally deletes them, as a way of assuaging the pain of purging.
So I am going to do that here now.
dad. Happy birthday Punkin! (wed. 5/9 8:26 am)
lauren. Most amazing roof view at this party!!! I just got here COME OVER FREE BOOOZE! (sat. 8/25 11:04 pm)
anna. I still have honey and tin foil in my bag (sun. 9/2 1:01 am)
anthony. At Sophia’s, missing you! They painted and added real tables outside. It’s a brave new world, Laurikins. (sun. 9/9 12:58 pm)
caroline. Wow u are crazy but in a good way. How was ur date with the juggler? (fri. 9/14 7:28 pm)
anna. Clotch (sun. 9/16 1:11 am)
lauren. jason schwartzman hott in person heyy!! (fri. 9/28 9:05 pm)
lauren. I rescued jim gaffigan’s tennis ball in the park this morning! done at 2, whats going on? (sat. 10/6 11:52 am)
anna. I have had ‘too many walls’ in my head for, like, an hour, which sucks because i don’t really know the words. (thu. 10/18 2:45 pm)
malka. I love the bag you gave me so much, fyi. Someone always asks where its from & i say, uh, paris. And then i feel like a tool. But i still love it. (mon. 10/29 7:47 pm)
brigid. ps. love the lychee ‘pudding’ amazing! thanks (thu. 12/6 11:08 pm)
anna. I love new words whose provenance is a text mistype. Keep it on the he wu! (tue. 12/11 10:29 am)
anna. He thinks you are over qualified slash too attractive. (thu. 12/13 2:27 pm)
caroline. Drinking $2.50 vodka tonics in ohio and thinking of you! Have a great vacation . Kisses. (sun. 12/23 11:08 pm)
malka. Yay about possible job!!! Boo to sarcoidosis! (mon. 12/24 1:31 pm)
lauren. I woke up with the image of you on my h.s. couch doing the ear candle!! Maybe my mind’s strange way of being sad you’re leaving (sun. 1/13 11:32 am)
kat. I miss you already (like the deserts miss the rain). Have a good flight and see you soon! (tue. 1/15 1:45 pm)
malka. Did i not mention the surveillance cameras? (sun. 1/20 3:17 pm)
andrea. Ok. I’m in dante’s fourth ring of hell- airplane delays. (sat. 2/2 1:35 pm)
anna. OMG I have an interview for adult product review (fri. 2/8 8:29 pm)
jennifer. SO COLD! But we’ll bake in the nectar of our juices! (sun. 2/10 6:03 pm)
me to anna. Now i have ‘too many walls’ stuck in my head. (wed. 2/13 6:43 pm)
brigid. Miss you here in the east village! (mon. 3/3 4:29 pm)
me to jennifer.Prettiest day everrrrrrrrrr!! (sat. 3/8 10:58 am)
anthony. Icarus flew on borrowed wings; I get delayed in La Guardia. Not as legendary, but far less crispy. (thu. 3/20 6:47 pm)
me to anna. Orangina = blood of christ (fri. 4/4 5:21 pm)
jennifer. wanna learn the rumba with me next saturday? (wed. 4/16 7:05 pm)
anna. OMG i got invited to audition for jeopardy (wed. 4/16 8:14 pm)
me to jennifer. Fair warning: You may have trouble recognizing me tonight in my elaborate disguise. (fri. 4/18 6:00 pm)
Are you a Text Message Pack Rat, too?