In the mid-to-late 80’s, it was a commonly accepted fact within the scientific community that boys had cooties. However, as early as 1987 I had begun to form a dissenting hypothesis, informed primarily by one Kevin Barber, who was in my kindergarten class and had very poofy hair.
Nevertheless, the climate at the time was such that I did not feel comfortable raising my concerns with the broader community and, as such, continued the time-honored practices of running away from boys on the playground, enduring regular administrations of “cootie shots,” and the like.
A lot has changed in the intervening 20 years. The scientific community is still somewhat divided, but the majority of scholars now embrace the theory that most boys do not, in fact, have cooties and that girls and boys are free to mingle with or without the previously recommended circle, circle, dot, dot.
And yet, I remain stuck in first grade. If I think a boy is cute, my general approach is to invest every ounce of energy I possess in hiding that fact. While reasonable people are batting their eyelashes and giggling, I am striving very hard to give the impression that I think you have leprosy.
Boy. Hi, Laurie! Flirtatious comment, flirtatious comment!
Me. (runs away, leaving a Laurie-shaped hole in the wall, cartoon-style)
Now, this is tricky, because I actually run away from approximately 9 out of 10 people who try to talk to me so the very act of me running away is not a sure indication that I’m attracted to the person from whom I am fleeing. Usually it’s just because I’m unpleasant.
Anyway, I need to work on this.
Once a month, some friends of mine host an alphabet-themed dinner party. When the tradition started, the goal was to bring a dish with a name that began with that month’s corresponding letter. However, now that we’ve completed one full cycle of the alphabet (even “x”!), we’ve started over at the top. Now we’re tasked with bringing a dish that’s from a place that begins with the corresponding letter.
Anyway, last night was “G” night so I brought two dishes from Glasgow: empire biscuits and, of course, haggis.
Traditional haggis is made from ground up sheep’s tongue, heart, and liver, all wrapped up in a sheep’s stomach. A delectable treat for any occasion. Fortunately for Lamb Chop, however, I opted for the vegan version this time.
The recipe required some fancy conversion work, so I did the math for you below. If you’d like to view the original recipe, you can do so at the Vegetarian Society UK.
This came out looking absolutely foul, but it smelled great and was totes delish. I’m not sure that I’d say it was very “haggis-like” though… more like a tasty lentil loaf.
I could be biased, but I think mine looks a little tastier. If nothing else, it’s definitely a lot healthier (for you and for the sheep!).
The empire biscuits came out beautifully. The recipe is basically: make perfectly round sugar cookies, stack two on top of each other with raspberry preserves in between, and top the whole thing with white icing and a maraschino cherry. Yum!
p.s. Did y’all know that it’s supposed to snow tomorrow night? That is just not right.