I went to a party tonight with a single male friend. We didn’t know anyone there and we soon found ourselves in a three-way chit chat with a cute graduate student. She was there by herself and didn’t seem to know anyone either. She was smart and funny and she and my friend seemed to be hitting it off, so after about five minutes of small talk, I began plotting my exit into the uncharted wilds of the party. Call me many things, but never call me a cock-block.
Suddenly, to my surprise, my friend suggested that he and I go upstairs so that he could show me the rest of the place. As we made our way up the staircase, I turned to him, voice lowered:
Me. Dude, I was planning to make a hasty retreat in, like, five seconds. Friend. Why? Me. I thought you’d want to talk to the pretty lady. Friend. Married. Me. What?! How could you tell? Friend. Did the ring check. Me. Oh my god, I always forget to do the ring check.