I’ve been giving myself a really hard time about this whole “quitting law school” thing. I’ve been feeling like a failure and a quitter because I’ve felt like I’m running away from something that is too hard or too scary.
And then today I remembered this experiment I read about in which rats are offered peanut butter as a reward for completing tasks of varying risk and challenge. Please forgive my lack of citation but experimenters found that the rats, despite their well-documented love of peanut butter, would only attempt tasks up to a certain level of difficulty and danger– in other words, there’s a certain point at which the rats made a cost-benefit analysis of the situation and said, “I love peanut butter but I don’t love it that much.”
The experiment didn’t conclude that the rats were a bunch of lily-livered sissies, it concluded that the rats were smart. There’s an evolutionary reason for weighing risks and benefits and not chasing down every tasty lump of extra crunchy.
To further complicate matters, I found out yesterday that if I don’t finish out the semester, I have to return my scholarship to NYU. I think that at this point it would be nearly impossible for me to pass my exams so I have to decide if I’d rather leave before exams, save some money on rent, and have my transcripts say that I withdrew or complete the incredibly painful task of preparing for and taking exams, have my transcript say that I flunked out, and save about $4000.
Jesus. Well… you know what I mean.