I had a minor epiphany this morning related to my general craziness. So here’s my new theory about myself, since I apparently have enough leisure time to come up with theories about myself and then share them with the general public: I don’t like being indecisive. Like, I really hate it. I hate wasting time thinking about something and over-analyzing it and beating it into the ground until it is dead and buried and everyone hates me from talking about it so much. Unfortunately, my life primarily consists of this exact behavior.
So, what I do to try to counteract that is to sometimes make VERY RASH decisions as though 10 impulsive decisions plus 10 decisions that I spent an inordinate amount of time making somehow = well-balanced individual. The problem with this approach is that (and this is the part that I epiphanied this morning) if you’re trying to make the rashest, most impulsive decision possible (which I think, believe it or not, is actually my goal sometimes), you’re going to make a disproportionate amount of “actionable” decisions as opposed to “passive” decisions.
If you are trying to decide whether you should cut your hair or grow it out and you suddenly decide that you are sick of internally debating this, it’s really difficult to make a strong and final decision to NOT cut your hair. That’s a passive choice and one which will require that you constantly make and re-make that commitment to yourself. Deciding to cut your hair, on the other hand, is actionable. You do it and it’s done and you can’t undo it and that’s that.
This isn’t a huge deal with things like cutting your hair (except that when your craziness manifests itself in weekly reincarnations of your hairstyle, it makes people a little uneasy about your general stability) but it can be a huge deal with other things, like quitting a job. Or making a very large purchase. Or breaking up with someone.
Anyway, these are my thoughts for the day. Please feel free to vehemently disagree with me via the comment button below.