So! I’m currently chillin’ in the WORLD CLUB, enjoying my FREE WIRELESS while sipping on a FREE LATTE that was made for me by an ESPRESSO MACHINE. I am also sitting in a chair with a VERY TALL BACK.
I never even realized this place existed. I mean, sure, I’d heard rumors. I saw those frosted sliding glass doors. I always assumed it was just a little waiting room– a few faux leather couches, maybe a Mr. Coffee.
I’ve been so naive.
One of my coworkers got me in today and, guys, let me tell you something. There is an escalator in here. And the leather couches? I don’t think they’re faux. And there’s enough modern art to make the Guggenheim blush. Did I mention the espresso machine?
Also, and this is important: they have free Bailey’s. At least I think it’s free. I’m kind of afraid of it because it’s just sitting there and I’m pretty sure it’s a trap.
When I walked in here, I totally embarrassed my coworker by whispering “This place is so fancy” like forty-seven times. I feel like I’m in one of those movies where the scrappy (but incredibly beautiful) pauper (um, that’s me, guys) wanders into a secret rich persons’ club. Except in those movies, I think the beautiful pauper ends up falling in love with a super hot rich dude who turns out to actually be romantically poor and only pretending to be rich. The guys in here are all kind of old and boring-looking.