Tonight was a friend of a friend’s birthday party at a bar called Whiskey Park which involved me getting emergency valet parking because the regular lot was completely full. After I picked up my car at the end of the night, I realized that my car contains:
Those are probably things (with the exception of my vehicle registration) that I should remove from my car before my next valet parking excursion. Especially the deodorant because, dude, that’s just weird.
Tonight was really fun although it was weird because I hadn’t talked to J in like four or five days, he hasn’t even called to ask how Madison was. We aren’t dating because I said we’re not so I don’t really mind that we haven’t talked, but I’ve definitely noticed it.
But so the weird part is that one of our mutual friends was there and I ended up talking to him almost the entire night. I’ve hung out with him a lot and I really like him, even though he is completely weird and rude and socially awkward. I actually think that’s why I like him.
Anyway, he asked me at one point what was going on with J and me and I told him that I didn’t know but that we’re not really together. He said he thought I was making him jealous by talking to him. I said that I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“Do you think I’m flirting with you?” he asked and I said “I don’t know, maybe, it could go either way.” He asked if I thought J noticed how close we were sitting together. “I don’t think he notices a whole lot, to be honest,” I said, to which he replied, “I think you’re naive.”
“And I am flirting with you, by the way. Just to clarify.”
J and I had a really lovely conversation at six o’clock in the morning last Saturday. We’d been hanging out since eight the night before and hadn’t gone to sleep yet and were still in the “we’re just friends now” mode, because I’d told him a week or so before that I didn’t think we should see each other anymore in a “non-platonic fashion” (my exact words).
So at six o’clock in the morning, we were sitting on the floor in his room and he kissed me and I freaked out a little bit for some inexplicable reason. And we were lying in the dark, holding hands, and we talked about love and intimacy and the connection between emotional and physical intimacy and how both of us completely suck at separating those two. Then we started talking about spiders that live under water in bubbles and the conversation just sort of took a nosedive from there and we both fell asleep, but that’s beside the point.
“I think that you are fantastic,” he said, “and I can’t imagine anything that I’d like more than to fall in love with you. I just don’t know if that’s going to be in the cards for us.”
“I don’t know either,” I said, “but I’m sick and tired of not knowing what’s in the cards. I’d like to catch a glimpse of my hand for a change, see if it’s time for me to fold.”
I’m not planning to continue that poker metaphor any further, just in case you were concerned.